My weight is my shepherd;
I shall not want low-calorie foods.
It maketh me to munch on potato chips and bean dip;
It leadeth me into 31 flavors;
It restoreth my soul food;
It leadeth me in the paths of cream puffs in bakeries.
Yea, though I waddle through the valley of weight watchers,
I will fear no skimmed milk;
For my appetite is with me;
My Hostess “Twinkies” and “Ding Dongs,” they comfort me;
They anointeth my body with calories;
My scale tippeth over!
Surely chubbiness and contentment shall follow mw
All the days of my life.
And I shall dwell in the house of Marie Callender pies…Forever!

I grabbed this with permission from Donna’s blog. I bumped into this while EC dropping the other day. It may sound funny to most of you but to me, it makes sense or to anyone who is very conscious of their figure.

Happy eating!

Got this in my email earlier.  A forwarded email.   Sounds funny and absurd but yet worth reflecting on -

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’
The dog said:
‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’
So God agreed..

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll
give you a twenty-year life span.’
The monkey said:
‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to
perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’
And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’
The cow said:
‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.
How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.’
But man said:
‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten The dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’
‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Make sense. right?  I was laughing after reading it.  I realized how a person’s joke in time of seriousness can lead to disaster.

By the way, Are you in need for a Rackmount monitor for your convenience , for an out of town speaking engagements?  March is soon to come and maybe some of you is like my boss who is already booked for eight speaking engagements in 8 different places.    Then gone are the days when u just carry up your message in a piece of paper.  Nowadays, almost everyone wanted to use the LCD to present their point to the people.   So check out the site, maybe you need one these modern gadgets.

This read made me giggled her in my seat. I find it cute. =) 

 Just Kidding Around

My first-grade daughter, Jenny, loves to sing. One day as I drover to school, we were “accompanying” Michael W. Smith on his song “Angels Unaware.” When we got to the line, “Maybe we are entertaining angels unaware,” I heard her version loud and clear: “Maybe we are irritating angels unaware.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.” –Nancy LaDuke

Sometimes the distinction between Jews and Gentiles is difficult for young children to grasp. My nephew Art and his children, Claire, five, and Jesse, three, were strolling through the mall one day when Jesse asked out of the blue., “Dad, why didn’t God make us Jews?”

Before Art could answer, Claire said in a serious tone, “Because he made us reptiles, Jesse.” –Gary Severson

BIBLE HUMOR: a kids point of viewArk ?” “No,” replied David. “How could he, with just two worms”

Lot’s Wife

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, “My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving,” he announced triumphantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”

Did Noah Fish?

A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the

Higher Power

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, ” We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”One child blurted out, “Aces!”

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task but, he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Rickey was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is My Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”

Church Smile

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. “Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk.”Only the Ten Commandments,” answered the lady.

And My Favorite

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilt.”

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about. He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk!